Fergus Cassidy

Apple of my eye

I'M convinced the Evil Empire brand has turned into a franchise. For a long, long time the Evil Empire was supposed to be Russia. Or as football and political fans called it - the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

Now there are Evil Empires appearing faster than you can order a quarterpounder with large fries, the staple diet of another erstwhile Evil Empire.

And it's all getting out of hand as the list grows and the franchise becomes diluted and spoiled: North Korea; Manchester United; News Corporation. And now the European Commission has just received Evil Empire status. Well at least according to Michael O'Leary of Ryanair, who looked so upset at last week's press conference that a wheelchair might have been called for to carry him out. Luckily for him that wasn't necessary.

The damage is done now and the Evil Empire tag is rapidly losing the venom that once went with it, which is not a situation I'm happy about at all.

Recently it was the 20th anniversary of the first Macintosh computer, launched by a television ad during Superbowl '84. It featured a woman running toward an Orwellian Big Brother image on a giant screen before letting rip on it with a sledgehammer. And not a breast in sight.

For all the ups and downs the Macintosh has experienced since then, it still remains the apple of many eyes, including mine. But, alas, we are still a tiny minority who nobody listens to anymore (if they ever did), a bunch of oddball geeks. Well they can call us all the names they want, but they'll really kill us off altogether if they keep messing around with the Evil Empire moniker.

For true Mac fans only Microsoft is deemed worthy of that description and now to have it diluted like this is hard to take. Is it for this that Mac veterans crashed and burned together for? Through software supply lines which were so bad most of the time that Tetris became our only comfort. We lost a lot of people in the great browser wars which almost wiped us out. If you think I'm exaggerating, well you don't know, you weren't there.

Those of us who survived will always carry the scars in one form or another, but nothing compared to those who turned their backs and went over to the other side.

Who could blame them I suppose? It was better over there. Regular software, more support, the familiar surroundings of family and friends, all succeeded in luring them away from the Apple archipelago.

That's what it was like back then. Computer civil war and which side are you on. The Mac vs Windows turf wars got so bad at one point that the UN was rumoured to be taking a keen interest, but was pushed aside by the United States. Seventeen US states sent in their own team of inspectors to document the Evil Empire's foul monopolistic deeds and most important of all to verify if Microsoft could launch a new browser in 45 minutes.

Mac fans couldn't believe it. At long last the threat we had spoken about so often was being taken seriously. We had called all along for tougher action but getting the inspectors sent in would hopefully be the beginning of the end for the Evil Empire. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Anything of significance wasn't found, even though we knew it was there, and the company got a rap on the knuckles, four Hail Marys and an Our Father. And that was the end of that.

Since then Microsoft has been left to its own devices. Expanding its empire now strengthened by the growth and spread of the internet.

There is a remote possibility that the EU Commission might rap its monopolous knuckles following another investigation, but Microsoft is wearing boxing gloves these days. In any case, if Michael O'Leary is right, it will be a case of one Evil Empire investigating another Evil Empire, and that sounds to me like a scam if ever there was one.

The upshot will be the same. There will still be just two desktop computer operating systems dominating the market. One of them with over 90% of that market sown up and the other precariously clinging on to what it's got for dear life.

This so-called age of free markets and consumer choice doesn't appear to apply to desktop computers and the Evil Empire carrys on regardless. The only solace for Apple fans lies in the future when we can come out of the trenches and announce that we told you so.

So until that day, fellow Apple devotees we must remain vigilant. And, of course, smug.

Because we're the ones not getting our knickers in a twist over 'security patches' or every time some mad virus spells doom. And as for trojan horses, they can pass by.

We're relatively immune from such evil and where once it was a badge of honour, now it just makes more sense to be in a minority.

Viruses thrive on the lack of diversity. It's what makes them spreadable. Any fool can easily unleash one knowing that the Windows of woe will take care of the global distribution.

To diversify an old cliche: an Apple a day keeps the .doc at bay.